I've been making a lot of pasta this week, and I really don't know who has the time to cook. I used to look down on people eating fast food all the time, but I get it now. Time is precious. I have felt incredibly overwhelmed recently and I'm sure it's due to spending an hour or two everyday pumping out pounds of pasta like everybody at De Cecco went on strike.

Pasta is my favorite thing to make, though. It's nice to let my mind wander for a few hours, and I've convinced myself that I'm actually writing while I do it. It also releases some stress for me. I don't think punching the dough is part of the kneading process, but boy is it fun to do. Free tip from me to you: Punch your pasta dough extra good.

Orecchiette is easy to make; you don't need a machine, but it is a huge pain in the ass. It's 2 cups semolina flour, 2 cups all purpose, and 1 cup (or 1 1/4 cup) tepid water. Combine both flours into a bowl and mix them until they're the same substance, then just make a well or whatever with your flour and add the water and look man, I can't tell you how to make dough. You just got to do it and keep fucking it up until you learn how.

This fucking nerd is about to get a beat down

This fucking nerd is about to get a beat down

If you make orecchiette right, you're going to be upset. You need to roll out little "snakes" of dough and cut them into coins, then press them with your thumb to make the shape of orecchiette that we all know and love and have seen a local Italian man throw at his kids. A lot of times I see orecchiette cut really thick. It's going to take 20 minutes to cook if you do that. Cut them small. The dough might stick together a little bit as you cut it, and it's a lot more thumb work, but the end result rules. You can pick up like 4-5 orecchiette in one spoonful. Also, orecchiette in Italian means "little ears." Isn't that precious? Sometimes I like to picture I'm collecting the ears of everybody who's wronged me! Use your imagination!

lol what if I threw this in your face?

lol what if I threw this in your face?

I had this conversation with my brother where I asked him if he ever liked to cook sauce this way, and before I could finish he knew exactly what I was talking about. It's just a very oily tomato sauce with peppers. I sauted some hot banana peppers in A LOT of olive oil until they were soft, then added some garlic, then added the juice from a can of San Marzano tomatoes, then crushed up a couple of the tomatoes with my hand to add just a little bit of thickness. Also, not that you give a shit, but I'm trying to cook without butter nowadays. Not for health reasons. Butter just seems easy. Everything has butter in it. Everything calls for butter. Can you make something taste good without butter? You should try.

Maggie Maye and I got super high and enjoyed this. Maggie is my roommate and a killer of a comedian. I think Maggie might be my favorite person to get high with. Her laugh is incredibly infectious and makes you feel like you're having the best time ever (because you are). She also has extensive candy knowledge and knows when the new candy drops at the store. Maggie put cheddar cheese on her pasta and I was too high to be upset. Do you, Maggs.

oh shit, dude

oh shit, dude

Impressed

Impressed